Allen and Kallman start the pilot ad they've mocked up for the AMC's online and TV marketing campaign to increase the number of Australians who use a monetary consultant.
Cue ad.
Actor Isaiah Mustafa - with just a towel around his waist - standing in bathroom, shower running in background.
MUSTAFA: Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped taking monetary advice from his mates at the pub and switched to MoneySpice (holds up MoneySpice casket to camera), he could be rich like he's me.
Mustafa looks down.
MUSTAFA: Look down.
He begins to disappear through floor.
MUSTAFA: Back up.
He's on a yacht, a blue-striped shirt falls over his shoulders.
MUSTAFA: Where are you?
He turns, stage left, and towel morphs to white chinos.
MUSTAFA: You're on a boat with the man your man could be rich like.
He puts down the MoneySpice casket.
MUSTAFA: What's in your hand, back at me. I have it.
He lifts up a clam shell.
MUSTAFA: It's an oyster.
The clam shell springs open.
MUSTAFA: With two tickets to that world cruise you want.
The tickets change to diamonds pouring through his fingers.
MUSTAFA: Look again, the tickets are now diamonds.
A MoneySpice casket rises out of the diamonds.
MUSTAFA: Anything is possible when your man smells like MoneySpice and not a lady.
Camera pulls back to middle distance, showing Mustafa on a horse standing on a beach.
MUSTAFA: I'm on a horse.
Horse neighs, tosses its head.
Allen and Kallman speak to their Skype camera, and ask the AMC committee ...
ALLEN: What do you think?
Silence.
Allen and Kallman speak to the camera again.
KALLMAN: Hello, Australia. Can you hear us?
Silence. Followed by a longer silence.
Finally, the chair of the AMC clears his throat.
CHAIR: Er, Mr Allen, um, Mr Kallman, it won't work.
The Skype camera goes black.
Allen and Kallman look at each other. Kallman grabs his mobile.
KALLMAN: What's that Procter & Gamble's number? You know, the Old Spice marketing manager. Maybe she'll buy it.
Allen whips out his mobile. Lights down.
With apologies - and thanks for the inspiration - to Craig Allen and Eric Kallman of Portland-based ad agency Wieden+Kennedy. They wrote and produced the online and TV marketing campaign for Old Spice, which helped boost sales by 107 per cent in the month after the now legendary Isaiah Mustafa ad aired and then went viral.
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